What She Will Miss - Day 5

My dad once asked my mom what she would miss the most after he was gone - this was before he got really sick. My mom simply said she would miss being able "to do for him." My mother has always been a woman of faith and a lifelong believer that to whom God has given much, God expects much. It's what she said to us all the time. She also reminded us, almost daily, that we could not get through the tough times unless we had God in our lives. As a young adult, I often rolled my eyes at those remarks, but it wasn't until I "grew up" and saw the small blessings and every day "miracles" in my own life, that I realized how right my mother was. She's still right. My mother can sit and tell you blessing after blessing, gift after gift, "miracle" after "miracle" that she believes was Divine Providence and God watching after her and her family. It could be the smallest of things, from the green light at the busy intersection that would keep her from being late to the parking space at HEB that put her close to the door on a cold or rainy day. It was the random $10 bill she found in her purse during the last week of the month that would let her buy lunch at school a couple of days that week or the way she showed up to Our Lady of the Lake, with $1 in her purse, and tried to register for classes and walked away with a bachelor' degree without a single loan in her name.

I once read a chapter of a prayer book that talked about the prayers our ancestors prayed asking for mercy on their family to come. I'd like to think all the good my mom has done in her lifetime is what keeps the rest of us afloat. My mother has always been a kind, loving, honest and caring woman, always offering a helping hand, a plate of food or just simply her prayers. My mother does without ever expecting anything in return, not just from the community and the church, but from her own family as well. I've lost count of the hundreds of ways my mother has "saved" me, from a tank of gas to bags of groceries to the $10 she found in her purse that she gave to me to keep in my own pocket and she did all of this never expecting anything back.

I often wonder, especially since my dad died, what we will do when she is gone. Who will take food to the guys at the church on Wednesday's nights while they work on the grounds, cutting grass and trimming trees, getting ready for the next event? Who will help plan the funeral of a close family friend, church parishioner or family member, writing prayers and petitions especially for them? Who will play the organ at the quinceneara or wedding of a church member's daughter or son? Who will take the janitorial staff at her school breakfast/lunch to show her appreciation for what they do? Who will help principals and teachers get their school years started and make sure teachers know they are appreciated during Teacher Appreciation Week? Who will be the one to open her house to family, friends, pastors, sisters, teachers and neighbors offering them food to eat or coffee and some pan dulce or a simple glass of iced tea?

But more importantly, who will be the one to come to my house at a moment's notice to bring me soup when I'm sick? Who will be the one to make my girls travel bags for our next roadtrip, complete with snacks, coloring books and colors? Who will listen to me cry about my dad, boast about my recent success at work, or hear about my latest squabble with the hubs? Who will be the one to tell me I'm wrong, that I made the mistake and that I need to ask for forgiveness? Who will remind me that without God in my life I can't get anywhere? Who will tell my girls they can be whatever they want to be when they grow up and that they need to love their mom and dad? Who will be the one to put up with the heartaches of family, to carry the burden of trying to make everything right, or to make sure there are enough prayers being said to keep her children and grandchildren safe?

My mother has spent her life serving God, being a leader in the community, and educating hundreds of students in her 42 years of teaching. She is a giver and enjoys doing for others.

Tonight was no different. My picture for today is a pot of her homemade hot chocolate. She had a meeting at church and decided she was going to take everyone some hot chocolate, a fresh pot of coffee and something sweet to snack on during their meeting on this cold and wet night. She busily moved back and forth in the kitchen and carried out a basket of supplies, poured coffee and chocolate into separate thermoses, and then was out the door. But this is who my mother is. This is who she has always been. This is what she will be remembered for and it's in moments like this, her acts of kindness - not random acts of kindness, because her kindness is never random - but in these moments, when the simplicity of doing for others brings her happiness, that I will miss her the most. 

Till next time...